Amanda and Jennifer Stand on the Edge of the Cliff… But ONLY One Gets Her Ex Back…
The way forward starts with realizing that when your relationship stands on the edge of a cliff you have two choices.
(and trust me – no matter how hopeless you THINK it is – or how far gone you FEEL it is – you ARE still ON the cliff edge (and not over it) – even if you had a REALLY BAD breakup)
Your first choice…. You can JUMP! (Up and Down and Wave Your Hands…)
After her breakup Amanda felt compelled to jump…
She…
- Sent her ex constant text massage
- Phoned him up at work and told him “how much she missed him” (and Claire)
- Called him up just to tell him “she was thinking about him”
- Started to send him flowers every week, because flowers are a sign of love, and he would then REALLY realize how much she loved him
- Spilled her emotional heart out about the breakup to her 359 Facebook “Friends”
- Constantly sent him emails asking how he was and what he was doing
- Suggested to him that “she could change” and they should have a “heart to heart” to help “fix things”
- Made sure he knew through mutual friends that she was “checking” his Facebook and Twitter accounts for signs of “other women”
Understandable… Amanda was only trying to make it crystal clear to him how much he meant to her.
Her thinking was that any connection with her ex was good because it was like keeping a bridge open after a storm.
If there is no bridge then how could she walk across in the future?
MAKES SENSE!
The problem is that doing it this way:
(Jumping up and down and metaphorically waving your hands…I’m HERE! I’m HERE! Will only result in your ex…)
1/ Feeling suffocated.
2/ Thinking you are needy and desperate.
3/ Looking at what you are doing as out of character. After all, it’s NOT what you used to do when he WAS with you. So it just makes him CERTAIN he has done the right thing in dumping you! (because clearly you HAVE changed…)
Not good…
Don’t do it!
Your Second Choice… You Can Play It Cool!
Jennifer stepped back from the cliff edge and played it COOL
Jennifer was of course tempted to do ALL of the above.
She loved her “Mr Right”! Hell! Was he made of stone? Since when has “communicating” ever been bad?
But she resisted.
She sneakily looked around on lots of ‘dating advice’ forums online, and they kept saying the same thing…
- “Play it cool!…”
- “Don’t talk to that man!…”
- “Ignore him and he will come crawling back!…”
So, instead of contacting him endlessly she did zip. Nothing. Nada. Zilcho.
It was a struggle. But she stayed quiet.
The thing was… It had ended badly. Rough words had been spoken. And they were both ‘normal’ adults, so she had moved out when they had split up.
They no longer lived together.
They didn’t go to the same gym.
They didn’t work together.
And he never called.
So how the hell could they patch up a relationship if there wasn’t even a bridge?
The truth was they couldn’t.
Jennifer was on the right track. But SHE DID IT THE WRONG WAY! And that makes all the difference.
The relationship stayed silent and that was that.
Amanda on the other hand DID get her man back!
She made ALL the mistakes in the book.
But then she stopped the other stuff. (I’m HERE! I’m HERE!) It wasn’t working anyway.
And started “Not talking to that man!”
(BUT with a twist that Jennifer hadn’t that ACTUALLY gets results.)
- Even if you don’t live together.
- Don’t go to the same gym together.
- Do not work together.
- Or even have a “good” reason to meet up.